I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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