STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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