I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
either way he was missing a nipple.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
