Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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