so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
