I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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