sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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