She's JV to your varsity
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
