Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize