your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize