Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
