3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
