just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize