DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
