I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize