Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
