i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
