I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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