my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
