and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
