her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
