...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
worst night to have a conscience
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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