Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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