apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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