I'm going to jail i love you
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
