I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
