Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
