Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
