why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I looked at my own cervix.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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