I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The power of my boobs compel you
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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