none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize