oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
