I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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