so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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