My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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