I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
