some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
