so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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