ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Define "chronic" masturbator.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
