A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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