Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize