jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
