im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
