there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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