What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think my moral compass just broke
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
