I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you had me at cake vodka
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
