Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
