just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
