I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
