The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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