I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
