i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
