how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
