He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
