Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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