If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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