i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
