I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
