Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
